sleepover

I hear my phone ring so I check to see who is calling.
It's her.
Jae.
I answer eagerly, wondering what she will say.
"Hello?"
"Hey Rina! How are you?"
"Oh, I'm good, and yourself?"
"I'm good. I was just wondering if you could come over this Friday for my birthday?"
"Of course I can! Just tell me what time and I'll be there." I hope I don't sound too excited, but I can't help it.
Not around her.
"How about around 2:00 in the afternoon?" she questions
"Sounds good" I smile, forgetting that she can't see it.
"Bring a sleeping bag, and a pillow!"
"So it's a sleepover?" I ask, a little nervous.
"Hell yes!" She cries.
My stomach flutters with excitement.
My heart beats with anxiety.
My mind becomes flooded with thoughts of what will come.
"Damn, I have to go. See you then?"
"Of course you will. Bye!" and with that we both hang up.
Leaving me to my thoughts.

The day of the sleepover…

There are twelve other girls
Not counting me,
Or her.
We all sit and talk,
Play games,
Do each other's nails,
Give makeovers,
Gossip,
And then eat dinner.
When we finish, we head upstairs,
To Jae's room.
We begin to play truth or dare, and I ask the first question.
"Jae, truth or dare?"
She thinks for a little, then responds, "umm, truth."
All the girls around me start saying,
"Tell us who you like!"
"You have to answer!"
"Come on, we all want to know!"
"Ummm, nobody."
Everyone just gets louder,
"You must like somebody!"
"Spill!"
"You have to tell us!"
Her eyes flicker around nervously,
Always coming back to me,
I can see fear in them.
"Okay guys, shut up. It's her birthday.
Don't ruin it by pestering her."
They all back off, but still look disappointed.
Jae mouths the words to me, thank you
I silently communicate back, no problem.
Secretly, though, I wonder.
Why was she so afraid to answer?
Why did her eyes continue to glance back at me?
Maybe I'm just making things up.
Hoping to see things that do not really happen.
There's no way she could like me.
It's impossible.
Yet still,
I can hope.

The rest of the game is surprisingly uneventful.
Some dares get a little wild.
And a couple girls admit things to everyone,
Who they like now,
Who they used to like,
If they had dated anyone,
If they had been kissed.
But eventually, it got boring so we decided to settle down and watch movies
To chat until everyone ended up asleep.
But first, everyone arranged their sleeping bags.
I placed mine right by Jae's bed.
Because I knew we would both stay up late talking.
And her bed was not far from the ground, so I could see her.
But mainly just so I could be near her.

At around two in the morning, Jae and I were the only two still awake.
"Umm, Rina?" Jae said, almost inaudibly, but obviously trying to get my attention.
"Yes?"
"Well, do you remember what they asked me earlier?" She pauses, "During Truth or dare?"
How could I forget?
"Yeah, why?"
"I kind of want to tell you the answer Rina."
I can feel my heart racing
I didn't want her to know how badly I wanted to know
Or why I wanted to know.
"Okay, who is it? Anyone I know?" I question, hoping I don't sound too eager.
"Yes, you definitely know them."
"Cool."
She remains silent.
"You can tell me Jae, don't worry. No matter who it is I promise not to tell anyone. And I promise not to laugh." I think back to the last time I told somebody that I liked them, and I want to say, I won't run away either.
"Are you sure?"
"Of course I am, just tell me."
"Ummm…well…I…uh…like…you."
I stop breathing.
My heart races so fast it hurts.
I can feel my eyes widen with shock.
I am not capable of responding.
"I'm sorry Rina. Please though, just say something to me." She begs.
I snap myself out of this trance.
"Sorry, was I dreaming?"
"What do you mean?" Her voice quivers, she is on the verge of tears.
I hope she doesn't.
The last thing I would want is for my angel to cry because of me.
"Please, repeat what you just said to me one more time."
"I like you."
I am still startled by this
It feels amazing to hear these words come out of her mouth.
I hop onto her bed.
And sit right in front of her.
I hold one of her hands, and with my spare hand I wipe away her tears.
She looks down, avoiding my gaze.
"I was always hoping you would say that. But it only ever happened in my dreams."
She looked puzzled.
"I am gay, queer, a dyke, a fag. However you want to say it." I state, shocked by my own confidence, "And I have liked you since 9th grade." I smile. Happy my secret is out. Happy that someone else knows.
I lift up her chin with my hand, and we look in each other's eyes.
We lean in to each other
Giving each other a light, sweet kiss.
We smile and lay down together,
Holding hands until we fall asleep.